Although you can see London flaring like a dreary dream from almost anywhere in the south of England these days, that’s still no excuse not to strap on your beige Timberlands, dig out your Barbour and head off to Epping Forest for a weekend gadabout. For today’s jetset Johnnies and Janes, the word ‘forest’ may conjure up images of bat-infested caves or brown bears pawing salmon out of icy streams, all of which leave poor old Epping looking a bit mediocre. But there is pleasure enough to be gleaned from its gentle hills covered in beech and oak, as well as its scruffy heathland clearings, a rare enough sight in the countryside proper.
There are two ways to attack it.
TUBE.
If you’re coming by Tube, disembark at Snaresbrook, then head towards the Crown Court, strolling past the ornamental pond that moonlights intermittently as a final resting place for joyridden cars, and then out across the open grass. This part of the forest is mostly spiky copses and heath, where you can watch all manner of kited objects take to the skies. There is the additional bonus of a boating lake, and the esoteric delight of the Hitchcock Hotel.
Sadly, I forgot to take any pictures of the majestic woodlands of great repute. But I do like ducks.
CAR.
If you’re travelling to the forest by car, head up through Woodford out of town along the old Roman road, now carrying carriages under the unpleasantly twee name of Hollybush Hill. At the Robin Hood pub (Thai food, ‘Travelleres Reste’ dullness) roundabout, take the fork off to High Beech and park up as soon as you can. The forest is yours to roam. Highlights include:
- The Queen Elizabeth hunting lodge: built in the time of Henry VIII, used by neither him nor QE1, but it’s still there, so that has to count for something.
- Deer enclosures: beautiful, vulnerable beasts. Tasty when dead and cooked.
- Getting lost: in woodland, rather than the backstreets of Kennington. Take these chances when you can, urban stroller.
- Cows: well, longhorn cattle to be precise, looking mean and moody just down the hill from the hunting lodge. They are most likely very tasty as well.
- The Kings Oak pub: this place occupies a hallowed spot – in a glade in the forest, high up on the hill, with views stretching out over, ooh, Cheshunt and beyond. It’s to the landlord’s eternal credit that he has managed to keep its utter low-rent Essexness intact. If you’re reading this, it’s more than likely a) your teenage years are well behind you, and b) you don’t miss them one jot. But come here on a summer’s day and see how you should have spent your adolescence: boys – blaring out grime from your souped-up Porsche Boxter, drinking lager from plastic glasses, hanging tough; girls – wearing small strips of fabric across your sensitive areas, drinking luridly-coloured vodka-based liquid, lounging around with your legs splayed, shouting loudly at each other. Class.
All in all, Epping Forest contains more than enough for a day’s exit from your usual weekend pursuits. Let us know how you get on.